Time To Hit The Slopes…

…but where’s the @%* snow?!?

Here we are – winter. What does that mean? Time to shake the dust off your bibs and check to make sure your ski boots still fit. Mine didn’t. Bummer. I HATE wearing rental boots! Sniff, pew, hack, gag. More on that later…

So we made the hotel reservations at our usual hangout (Best Western Tree House Inn in Mt. Shasta City ROCKS!), shoved every piece of winter wonder toy into the back of the Yukon, loaded up the dog, and headed north. It was Mt. Shasta or bust. Jack was set to try skiing FINALLY! I’ve been trying to force the poor lad into skis since he could walk. I know, I know, but mama wants to go skiing and you can’t always drag someone along to watch him while I’m bellied up to the lodge bar. Sorry, did I write that out loud? Anyway, between skiing, sledding and snowshoeing, we were bound to come back sore and addicted to Motrin. But wait. Isn’t it January? Aren’t we supposed to be drowning in the valley and snowed-in in the mountains? Why am I wearing shorts? Kept our fingers crossed that we’d find more snow the higher we climbed.

Got to the hotel and found barely a layer on the ground. The sun had been shining for so long that what was left was now ice. Makes for a great show when watching everyone trying to walk to their cars, but not great when you’re the one attempting to unload the truck. I could SWEAR we didn’t pack that much. Must have been breeding while we were underway. Time to attempt a good night’s sleep to ready for the next day. On the agenda: sledding and snowshoeing. But first, we must visit the indoor pool and hot tub to ready the body for the next day’s challenges...

Saturday morning, off and running (Skiing?). Free buffet breakfast (alongside 50 other families and their kids – relaxing), make sure the dog pees and we load up for a day of fun. Sleds? Check. Snowshoes? Check. Cooler full of food and beer? Check, check. First stop was our property in Mt. Shasta Forest, just outside of McCloud. Again, where’s all the snow? There was just enough for our day’s ventures. Groovy. First on our list o’fun was sledding. Hmmm. Lots of trees and bushes still sticking out of the ground. Time to rally. Found some small hills that would do just dandy. I must admit, though, that the icy surface did make for a nice, slick track. We were even running like hell and diving onto the flat surfaces, twisting and turning our way right into the trees. And the sleds that Santa brought us from Costco? Rockin’! After a few rounds of bush dodging and taking out small trees with our bodies (No joke! I did it at least twice), it was time to break for sustenance. Sat our butts down on our sleds and enjoyed the bounty that was cold cuts, string cheese and beer. Okay, no beer for Jack, but mama’s shoulder is REALLY sore from taking out that last tree. And next on the Trio’s agenda? Take the roads to a higher elevation to find some snowshoe trails. And we found them! We were already pooped out from the half day of sledding and crashing, but I pressed on as we only had 2 days to fit in all our activities. And if we’re pooped out now, why not get completely exhausted? Maybe Jack will even take a nap? HA HA HA HA HA! That’s a good one… Did I mention that it was a beautiful day? The weather really was exceptional and we were very fortunate to be out on such a day.

We finally couldn’t climb any higher and stopped at the end of the non-plowed road to find a trail of snowshoes leading us further down the snow laden road. Sorry, gang, but it’s time to strap on the snowshoes and see how far we can go. At this point, I’m sure my family despises me for being so “GO! GO! GO!” But we’re here, we’re (somewhat) rested, and dammit, we’re the Adventure Trio! (Don’t MAKE me say fuck, right David?) With snowshoes on and a fresh patch of yellow snow made, we set forth down the snowshoe trail. We only lasted so long as Jack kept whining (Aargh!) and poor Hank’s paws were bleeding in spots from running along the exposed brush. Fine. Back down the trail we went, packed up our gear and headed back to the hotel. It had been a long day. And for day two? Skiing, baby!!!

Sunday morning. Up by 6:30AM. What the hell?!? Jack, dude, don’t you know how to sleep in? Ugh. Fine. We suited up, headed down to the family-riddled buffet again, and headed right back to our room. We all needed just a little more down time before hitting the resort. Packed again was the Yukon with our day’s toys…and Hank. Such a trooper. After we parked at the ski resort, I attempted to get on my ski boots for their virgin voyage. Wait! Why are they not fitting?!?!? FUCK!!!! Dammit! Are you kidding me? I really, REALLY don’t want to rent ski boots! Yuck. I must give in and head to the rental line with the rest of the fam. And away we went… Got our gear (which took about 45 minutes), signed Jack up for a ski lesson and headed out to see how the big guy was going to handle his new appendages. All Jack wanted to do was go fast. No stopping, no snowplow (which is now called a ‘pizza slice’). He just wanted Terry to hold him at the top of the hill and me to catch him at the bottom. Got PISSED when we tried to teach him the pizza slice to stop. Are you sure he’s not 14 already? He’s got the attitude for it, that’s for damn sure. So, after a few runs down the bunny hill with me, it was time to check him in for his lesson. He wanted NOTHING to do with either one of us while in line (another 14 year old moment) and would barely say g‘bye when we left. Too cool for elementary school. Wow! Terry and I had 1 ½ hours to do whatever. Priceless!!!!! Hit the lodge for food and libations, then ventured to the chair lift. I had already gone down the mountain a couple of times while Terry hung with Jack. Thanks, Terry! Now it was our turn to try and tumble down the mountainside. What about snowboarding, you ask? Next month. Promise.

There was a ton of man-made snow with even more ice underneath. You could hear it crunching under your skis as you made your way down. And speaking of crunching, that would have been the sound of my bones if I hadn’t been able to maneuver my way around all the ass-sittin’ snow boarders. I’m not kidding! There are snowboarders just hangin’’ in the middle of the runs making it seem more like a game of Frogger than skiing. There was one heinous corner that sported 6 snowboarders sitting along the ONLY spot to turn without pulling a Sonny Bono. Fortunately, we were able to maneuver around, taking out only a couple of 16 year olds. And how did Jack do in his lesson? Fabulous! He listened to his instructor (of course, because it’s not Terry or I) and is really looking forward to snowboarding next month. And so am I! I really enjoy sitting on my frozen ass all day as 6 year olds whiz past me while doing a front side grab. Fuckers. I’m not bitter. Check back after President’s Day weekend for the snowboarding update. We’re bringing witnesses with us in the form of Taryn and Kelly. Hoping since both of them snowboard, we can pick up some pointers that help keep us from doing the cartwheel tumble down the run. No promises, but I will hand off the camera to them to “capture” the grand moments. Should be interesting. Should be something that ends on uTube.

Cheers to all and remember, do one thing every day that scares you. It makes for some fabulous stories and grand memories. Ciao.

Hank checks out the camera